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(First off, how about the opening...)
Disclaimer: 1)a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2)a disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass.
"Though it'll go without saying ten minutes or so into these proceedings, View Askew would like to state that this film is--from start to finish--a work of comedic fantasy, not to be taken seriously. To insist that any of what follows is incendiary or inflammatory is to miss our intention and pass undue judgement; and passing judgement is reserved for God and God alone (this goes for you film critics too... just kidding).
So please--before you think about hurting someone over this trifle of a film, remember: even God has a sense of humor. Just look at the platypus. Thank you and enjoy the show.
P.S. We sincerely apologize to all platypus enthusiasts out there who are offended by that thoughtless comment about the platypi. We at View Askew respect the noble platypus, and it is not our intention to slight these stupid creatures in anyway.
Thank you again and enjoy the show."
BARTLEBY: Here's what I don't get about you: you know for a fact that there is a God. You've been in his presence, He's talked to you personally. And yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.
LOKI: I just like to fuck with the clergy, man-- keep 'em on their toes.
LOKI: There's just one thing I think I should do before we leave--something that might help get us back on His good side.
BARTLEBY: What's that?
LOKI smiles and starts rifling through his pockets. He extracts a magazine article.
LOKI: This is something I've been dreaming about for five years now. Read that.
The crumpled article displays a gold-hued cartoon cow alongside various profit charts and text.
OC BARTLEBY: 'Mooby the Golden Calf--Creating an Empire out of Simplicity.'
LOKI nods to the article
LOKI: I want to hit them.
BARTLEBY: What're you high?! We finally find a way back, and you want to jeopardize it because you've got a soft spot for the good ol' days?!
LOKI: What better way to show I've repented than by resuming the position I once denied...thanks to you.
BARTLEBY: I really don't think a killing spree is going to make things better for us!
LOKI: "Killilng Spree"? We're talking about Divine Justice here--punishing the wicked, raining down fire and brimstone. He's all about that. I know He'd want this done.
BARTLEBY: There hasn't been an Angel of Death since you quit. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Besides, what if you're wrong?
LOKI: If I'm wrong--which I'm not--it won't matter. Like you said--we pass through the arch and we're forgiven anyway. No harm, no foul.
[Elevator] doors open. They [Loki and Bartleby] get on. Other people are inside as well
LOKI: Our last four days on earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do the next best thing.
BARTLEBY: What's that?
LOKI: Let's kill people.
A woman drkinking coffee beside LOKI does a spit-take. LOKI smiles at her as the elevator doors close.
LOKI: Oh, not you.
LIZ: Jesus! You're Catholic, aren't you? Can't you talk to them or something? [referring to the protestors outside of the abortion clinic].
BETHANY: They hate me more than you, no doubt. At least you have an excuse--you're Jewish. You don't know any better.
LIZ: I don't think they'd accept that one--we already used it as our excuse for killing Christ...
BETHANY: I think God is dead.
LIZ: The sign of a true Catholic.