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"Are you spanking my angel?"
"Yes."
"Why are you spanking my angel???"
"Cause she likes it!"
-Chris and Crystal
"Are you stroking my angel?"
"Yes."
"Why are you stroking my angel???"
"Because she likes it!"
-Chris and Nita (the next day)
"Are you blowing my angel?"
"Well, its already been stroked and spanked.. I figured I might as well blow her."
-Chris and Crystal (the day after that)
"I'll probably get a B or a C in that class."
"B or a C? Somebody's slacking! You didn't drink enough this semester."
-Leckie and Rob
"If we go drinking somewhere it needs to be soon. I need to be shitfaced by one."
"Why one?"
"Cause I gotta go back and study!"
-Rob and Leckie
"No matter where you are, if you say 'Drunk Midget' people will smile."
-Leckie
"I was at a house party once where they had a midget-throwing contest."
"Damn! I'd have to avoid tat, they might mistake me!"
-Sean and Rob
"She's old! She has to be at least Sean's age!!!"
-Rob
"There are somethings in this life that you just don't believe in, and her hymen is one of them."
-Toby
"I'm usually the one taking it off when no one else can!"
-Crystal
"20 more days. Just 20 more days and I slouch towards Bethlehem to be born.... with a cable modem."
-Mark
"Its like...'add 10 microdrops...'"
"So its add an approximate 1/100th of an approximate measurement."
"Yeah. I hate microdrops."
-Crystal and Chris
"Favorite Movie?"
"American Pyscho."
"Ooohh a family picture."
-Rubinkowski's Ethics Class
"Well, if you can't fondle Crystal, you might as well fondle CrystalLight."
-Chris
Nita's Fortune: You are transforming yourself into something that is sure to succeed. (in bed).
Crystal's Fortune: Invite a friend to join you on you next voyage of discovery. (in bed).
Chris' Fortune: Your fastidious nature has much more fun this year. (in bed).
"Your tongue is blue. Have you been going down on Smurfs again?"
"I plead the fifth."
"Was it Smurfette??"
"All I can say is, I know why they call him Handy."
-Chris, Nita, and Crystal
"They only have English muffins over there. No Bisquits. Because they are evil evil people.
-Crystal on London
"No, no, no. There is no home. Only Dublin."
-Nita 3/23/02 at 5:40 on the plane to London
"I'm a wee bit chilly."
"Aye. Me too. Probably becaue i took my pants off."
-Crystal and Nita, 3/25/02 just before napping.
"No! No! Stop, you harlot!"
-Nita 3/26/02 3:13am while losing the tickle-battle
"I'm fucking in love."
-Nita 3/27/02 about the soft beds in London (unlike Dublin)
"Your belly is coming out of your shirt."
"Thats alright. My ass is coming out of my pants."
-Crystal and Nita, 3/27/02 in London
"I'd kill you right now, but that feels too good....
-Emily Gibbs
"There are certain things in this life that you just don't believe in, and her hymen is one of them."
-Toby
"I'm usually the one taking it off when no one else can!"
-Crystal
"So, on a scale of one to ten, are you still at seven?"
"Yeah, I'm going to live in denial until at least nine."
-Chris and Crystal
"Remember, if you go fast enough Death can't find you. He takes Sundays off.... He has a temp working for him on Sundays. The temp is lazy. In fact, the temp is Mark!!!"
-Jed
"No, that's my yummy delicious hip bone!"
-Nita
"Hey I know why you've been lagging so bad on Diablo lately..."
"You had your foot on the cord, didn't you?"
-Jed and Gary
"Hey Jed, is Mean Gean's paying you in company script yet?"
"No, but when they do I 'm staging a revolt and I have lots of people in food services that'll back me up. We've been making our plans in the shadows..."
"Behind the yogourt machine."
"Mu Ha Ha Ha...."
"As long as it doesn't interfer with my Smoothies."
"The Smoothies must flow. The Smoothies extent life. The Smoothies expand conciousness. The Smoothies make space travel possible. The Smoothies must flow! Without the Smoothies, the Empire collapses."
-Jed, Gary, and Chris at Outback
"I've built up so much charactor I have an alter ego."
-Mary Prankster, Blue Skies Over Dundalk
"So what else is new?"
"I've decided to become evil..."
-Crystal and Chris
"I took off my pants to look inconspicous."
-Gary
"Azreal and I have a working relationship, I kick him in the balls everytime I see him"
"That's not a working relationship, its scrotal terrorism."
-Stu and Jed, Crossroads Game
"He's trying not to look at you, you're a creepy little boy."
"Fine, I'll go tease my hair and watch the Crow."
-Mark as ST and Gary as Issac, Crossroads Game
Rob Zombie as an "Umpa Lumpa" -- 'Dig through the candy and burn through the taffy...."
-Mark being silly
"Her view was, I have hopskotch I might as well use it! On this pen! ... I so wish I was kidding."
-Gary referring to Evil-Crystal's Satyr in MbN.
"You are so white. You're whiter than Primus."
-Someone speaking to Matt
"Words hard. Stab now."
-Mark, Crossroads Game
"Less talk. More Stab."
-Stu, Crossroads Game
"Hi honey, I'm just making some soup."
"Chicken noodle? Or naked Spanish Lady?"
-Don't ask
"Christa. Matt and I want you to know we hold you personally responsible for the degradation of society."
"Ah fuck."
-Chris and Baumchick
"Can I have a Tickle-me schlocta?"
-Chris
"I choose you! Micheal Branscum!"
-Matt
"I got in a fight with the MAN who had a shotgun full of Count Chocula marshmellows"
-Stu as Mourn
"So you're saying that the Dreaming is the Universe's screen saver?"
-Chris
"The near Umbra is full of technological stuff."
"Like Radio Shack."
-Stu and Gary
"Despite the occassional rape and absentee landlords, people really like living in Sunnyside, its got a real sense of community."
-Tamara from my J18 class
"I'd like to learn the Drunken Monkey style of Kung Fu."
"I'm convinced that it works only by convincing them that it couldn't be a style."
"Yeah Jed, thats it."
(Stu) "What about Disgruntled Mantis?"
-Gary, Jed, and Stu
"Yeah, but can you ask where the nearest men's room is?"
"Donde is el Banyo?"
"Your Goblin is in my soup."
"..."
"Which is better than 'your dagger is hurting my chest.'"
-Assorted variety of people engaging in frivolity at E&P.
"Why can't women come up and say hi to me like that when I'm single?"
"Cause you single."
"I mean, I only had one class with her last year."
"But did you have sex with her in class?"
"Well, yeah."
"There you go."
-Jed and Chris
"I'm not APO but I'd like to help take the house during RUSH."
"Excellent, we'll call you a mercenary."
"Your pay will be in women taken as slaves."
"...THATS THE BEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME!!!"
-Stu, Chris, and Jed
"Look [at the TV] time stopped!"
"Its Golf, how can you tell?"
-Chris and Matt
"Summon spiritual Linebacker."
"Na, nosegaurd."
"How about Summon Referee? Offsides! 15 yard penalty!"
"And watch the Sabbat be forced to back off."
-Chris, Jed, and Gary
"In some professions we call that pyschotic."
"In some professions we call that dishonorable Inner Sphere stravag!"
-Jed and Chris
"Mongrel, If WV is God's country, why is there so much inbreeding?"
"Well Lisa, I guess God wants to keep it in the family."
-Lisa and Mongrel
"My popcorn has already been metabolised into indignation."
"Is it righteous?"
"I like to think so."
-Gary and Chris
"Cliff, its great you have a Scottish personality. I have an English personality so if you don't shut up I'm going to kill your sheep, eat it, and then fuck your wife...:
-Matt Benson at Pennsic War
"Are you going to be playing the prophecied crescent moon mamber-jammer?"
-Mark
"If you can't reach in your pouch, pull out some guano, roll it in sulfur then you don't deserve a fireball!!!"
-Jed
*Mark, holding a pen*
"I've forgotten how to use this thing!! What is it??!!" *panic*
"Ya see Matt, I've decided my arms are just vestigial flaps."
-Mark
"Aye Caramba! Our goats have been sucked!!!"
-Mark
"No! No! My massive amount of stuff is proving fruitless against the assault!!!"
-Mark
The full moon doggedly refuses to wane.
-???
"They [Vamps] just didn't take the sun as seriously; it was like Prohibition."
-Mark
"We've got to cover up these mass-murders!"
"Throw a tarp over it."
-Mark and Gary
"Gary is dead! Medic!"
"If he's still talking he's undead."
"Cleric"
-Chris and Stu
"No Dawn, somewhere along the line I became a hero. I only scare people for charity now."
-Stu
"Nuns in power armor with big f*cking guns!"
-Matt
"Nerf for the Nerf-gods."
-Wes
"They had one at my brother's camp."
"What a sunfish?"
"No, the Kraken you idiot."
-Katie and Jed
"Sunfish are the vicious little poodles of the aquatic world."
-Jed
"If you had me wear an eyepatch over my right eye I'd get hit by a truck, step in a bear trap, fall of a building into a wedding cake and get struck by lightning all on the side of a building in the middle of an intersection."
"What does your right eye have to do with getting hit by lightning?"
-Gary and Jed at E&P
"There are four things in this world that you don't touch; a man's car, a man's wife, a man's dog, and a man's fun-noodle."
"pcottage?"
"Its like cottage cheese with a little Picasso mixed in."
"There's no 'I' in teamwork...but there is in EVIL."
-Gary
"Hey ya can't spell family without 'me!'"
"Actually, yes. Yes you can."
-Jed and Chris
"You always have to have seige weapondry!
"We should take RUSH week seriously. If we can take a house by force--its ours."
"Trebuchet with kegs...toss 'em in through the windows and get them drunk. It'll make it easier to chase 'em out."
"We should disguise ourselves with those fake noses and stuff; can't you just see their reaction? 'Hundreds of 'Groucho Marx's attacked us!!!"
Scene: Babysitter to child
"Do you know why its raining Johnny? Because the angels are crying. Do you know why the angels are crying? Because God beats them. Do you know why God beats them? Because he hates YOU! And he can't take it out on you, so he beats them."
FLASHFORWARD
"Do you know why its snowing Johnny?....."
CUT TO FLYING FEATHERS
"I was sitting in this decomposing chair in my basement..."
"What was it made of?"
"Human flesh...what? Someone had to say it."
"Klaives come in three sizes: Wee, Not-so-Wee, and F*cking-HUGE!!!"
-Gary
"Slim Shady is tired of your shit and he's going to KILL YOU!"
"What do I care, he's just a skinny white guy."
"I got your back."
"Hey, I got a big white guy on my side."
"And if Shady ever comes after you, we'll just hit him with the largest blunt objects we can find....our cars."
"Hey! Seth off!"
"One of the homid elders should 'Lift the Veil' on Chris Rock and have him do an anti-Seth stand-up; cause no one can rip you a new asshole like Chris Rock!"
-Mark
"We'll just summon the spirit of crotch-monkey to nail him in the balls."
---later
"Sorry to tell you, but crotch-monkey is now your totem. His ban is once a day he gets to crotch-smack ya, and ya won't see it coming. And only you can see it, so ya better think of reasons why you are laying on the floor screaming."
"From now on when Seth tries to bargain with a spirit, the spirit'll say 'I'll Rosh-ambo ya for it.'"
"F.B.I.--Federal Bear Institute."
-Katie
"M.I.R.A.--Multiple Independent Reentry Anbu."
"I'm tenacious enough to stake you with a loaf of bread."
"What??!"
"It's really stale."
"Deploy Clown!!!!"
"We work with all the coordination of a well oiled brick."
"He turned into a fish!!!"
"I'll get the butter."
"Ya know, the Void Engineers are f*cked by the Avatar Swarm."
"Or they'll just find places where the Gauntlet is zero."
"Yeah, slip a Void Ship through the buttcrack of a Caern when all the Fianna are drunk.
'Hey, what's that?'
V1:'Nothing, we're fae...'
V2:'Halt Reali....'
V1:'Not now!!!!!'
V2:'What about the H-I-T-M-A-R-K?'
V1:'Throw a tarp over it.'"
"The Garou have a sign outside that has a picture of StormEater on it. It says 'You must be at least this tall to fight the Garou Nation.' And that goes for the Bane under Antartica too!"
"Oh, the Japanity!!!"
"Who won?"
"Gavin, by a Gavin-ation."
"What are the rules?"
"The more you have the less powerful they are. Then you add in Warhammer 40K, BattleTech, and Calvinball... And Jonny Cochrane. It becomes more chaotic the more Gavin there is."
"The Holy Grail of all Glass Walker quests... A Myrmidon Suit."
"Mark, I thought you were the crystal-meth crocodile."
"Tell it to Epyon."
"Goodbye Mark."
"I can still come back from this!! If he stops moving!"
"And fighting back."
"Ang, if I were a lesbian, I'd make out with you."
"Ah, how sweet."
"I'm not looking around. If I can't see the big scary thing, It can't hurt me... Right???...."
"Hmmm Fred is your nickname, but you're really Andy. I don't like 'Fred.' So you are now Frandy."
-Ang to the living legend.."FRED"
Matt: "I'm hungry."
Chris: "Perhaps you should slate your hunger..."
Gary: "On the blood of innocents?"
Matt: "Nah... I had that for lunch."
"We are sexy bitches Lisa!"
-Ang
"So Ang, Is Casey off 'being all he can be."
"Is he EVER!!"
-Chris and Angie
"Please, the C.V. Marching Band was a communal family that practiced incest."
-LMK
"You did what?!!
Where?!!
With how many?!!
Didn’t that hurt???"
-LMK
"We leave you alone for five seconds and you go and wake up some Antidiluvians!"
"Bitch. Bitch. Bitch."
"Oh God, Nita’s driving!"
"Um, you just pissed him off... Notice the eyes and the growling..."
"Um...Celerity!"
"Reality!"
"Obsession!"
"Shit."
"Those bastards [Sabbat] shot my [stuffed] dog!!!"
"Just remember that you can justify playing anything with anything as long as you use Jesse’s combination of charactor creation..aka the belief that you’re God."
"You built your keep on a WHAT??!"
"Quick! Look at that very distracting thing!!!"
"You call that a shirt???"
"Goddammit, when did Gary learn how to Earthmeld?"
"Admit it Jed, you are a Lupus infiltrating us normal people."
"Since when are ya’ll normal?"
"We all have to stop spontaneously showing up in the same place, or they’re gonna start thinking we LARP every night."
"Remember, it all comes back to the point that the Camarilla is STUPID!!!"
"We are the United States, Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated....Dude."
"No No. Sabbat over Na... Camarilla over Na"
"But.."
"You Na. We Na!!!"
"Here Vampire, wanna stick? Huh? A stick? Go Fetch Boy!!! Sorry Gary, it was too good. Wanna stick.... hehehehe."
"No killing Gavin! Remember, he’s a national treasure!!!"