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Its kind of casual, like a Lake Woebegone witch-burning."
-MST3K
"Wonderful, now we're both in the clutche's of the Devil because you wanted seconds!!!"
-MST3K
You can't tell me that wasn't perfect! I've been around for 400 years and I used tto do this professionally. You can't tell me that wasn't perfect! ... We'll go again!"
-Darla, trying to turn Angel in Angelus again
You spelled his name wrong. What's my name? I'm just an ordinary citizen who depends on the Times crossword for stimulation. ... I've met the guy twice and I ordered a pre-emptive exo-set missle strike against his airforce, I think I know how to spell his name.
-The West Wing
"I'm not a Viking! I'm a freelance merchant marine slavage export, presalvage specialist."
Aethelmarc Newsletter
"Oblivion is such a small inconvience to pay in the service of a diety."
-Glory, BtVS
"...with all due respect, and fear of sharp objects."
-a minion of Glory, BtVS
"Nothing says I'm on to you like being on the recieving end of a police beating."
-Cordiela, Angel
"That's his plan? Its a really bad plan!"
-Wes, Angel
"In today's impersonal and unfeeling world, where people use guns and explosives to kill each other like cowards, most of us feel disrespected and depressed about life. It really makes an enemy understand that you respect and care for them when you take the time to give them a fatal beating with an uprooted stopsign."
-A OWbN Child of Gaia, Ragabash
"I was a Librarian for years, running a store is exactely the same except people pay for they don't return."
-Giles
"I've been doing my homework- reading books and stuff."
"What?! Evil for Dummies?"
-Harmony and Spike from BtVS
"I'm here to violate your first-born never seems to go over well with parents."
-A much repeated quote from Riley Finn from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Sometimes I think he's a martyr in training. Great motives, lousy ending in case you missed the Joan of Arc story."
-Garibaldi
"We only hire senior citizens. Its part of our 'enslave the elderly' program."
-The Critic
"God, I haven't been f*cked like that since gradeschool!!!"
-Marla Yates, Fight Club
"A date, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess I should buy a pair of socks."
-Coyote Ugly
"No one appreciates you here. The lunch break's a joke, there's only one toilet, and the pay's rotten. I'd quit if it wasn't for the pension. And the constant chances to screw up people's lives. I see my job as a kind of revenge against an uncaring society. Its either this or planting explosives in public places, and explosies are expensive.... Why are you still here?"
-Clerk on Mistworld
Deathstalker series
"A lot of people arrive here fleeing from the Tyranny of the Empire, expecting some kind of free civilized Utopia. The rather different reality of scrapin out a living on an unhospitable rock of ice with a population consisting mainly of outlaws, failures, and criminals upsets a lot of new arrivals, and some really never get over it."
"Don't you find that rather worrying?"
"Not as long as explosives remain reallly expensive."
-Ensueing conversation between
Hazel d'ark and Owen Deathstalker.
"Its not whether we win or lose it's how many of the bastards we can take with us...."
-Giles Deathstalker
"A flying castle witha built in stardrive tended to be many things, but inconspicous was not one of them."
-Commentary from Deathstalker
'...More than one lady in Adrienne's current audiance looked as though they were thinking, wistfully, how easy it would be to drop something really unpleasent, but not neccessarily fatal, ito her drink when she wasn't looking.
Finlay completely understood the impulse, Adrienne'a voice had the carrying quality of an airstrike and was usually about as welcome. People arranging parties and other social gatherings had been known to get extremely inventive when it came to producing reasons why Adrienne shouldn't attend, everything from social unrest, to outbreaks of plague had been tried. Adrienne inevitably showed up anyway.'
-Thoughts of Finlay Campbell
at the short-lived wedding
between Robert Campbell and Levitiva Shreck
"I need a drink."
"No you don't."
"Look, whose hangover is this anyway?"
-Cpt. Silence to Investigator Frost
'Silence approved of that. He didn't want mindlessly loyale people with him in dangerous situations. He wanted people who were scared shitless. Kept them on their toes.'
-Cpt. Silence while in Orbit
of the Planet Gehanna
"I'm glad we had this little talk. I was feeling a bit depressed, but now I've moved on to downright suicidal..."
-V. Stelmach, Security Officer
Imperial Starcruiser, Dauntless
'...Valentine Wolfe had been denounced so many times for all kinds of heresy that the Church lost count, including some that had been previously thought to be only theorectically possible.'
-The Deathstalker Rebellion
'Join the Imperial Navy and see the Universe. Meet strange and interesting new forms of life, and run away from them...'
-a slightly disgruntled
Cpt. Silence
Success leads to stagnation;
stagnation leads to failure.
Failure leads to maturity;
Maturity leads to success.
-Vlad Taltos, Jhereg Assassin
When the blameless
And the righteous die,
The very gods
For vengence cry.
-Jhereg
"We're both reasonable men, and if you're calling me a liar you better be holding something bigger than an umbrella..."
"Nine-iron?"
"Ya'll have a nice day!"
-from "King of the Hill"
"There is no substitute for good manners-- except fast reflexes."
-Vlad Taltos, Jhereg Assassin
"Huh, its the drunk piano player. You can't hit anything. You're so drunk, I bet you're seeing double."
"I've got two guns, one for each of you."